Sunday, 21 July 2013

Is He Cheating on me ?

"Now-a-days he comes home from office pretty late and if asked he always replies that he was in a meeting. I had even called up at his office but they told me that he leaves early. If I try to ask him where he had been he gets violent. I think he is having an affair"- says Nita Kapil, a housewife. In a woman's life extra-marital affair of the husband is the most shattering thing. An extramarital affair is one of the most painful experiences that she has to face. But sometimes it is difficult to even know that your husband is seeing someone else. By saying this I don't mean that from now on you should start checking your husband's valet, briefcase and looking for hair on his shirt or try to smell ladies perfume on his clothes, etc. What I mean to say that the affair might be so well camouflaged and carried on that you might never come to know of it until you get to hear about it from someone. But still you love and trust your husband so much that you don't believe it. In that case you can observe these following steps and see if the news is true before confronting your husband. But please do not jump to conclusions without confirming the news. It might just be a misunderstanding or rumour.

THINGS YOU OUGHT TO CHECK FOR EXTRA-MARITAL AFFAIRS:
  • There is a sudden upturn in his demeanor or outlook on life.
  • He is constantly late. This will be an important factor coz if he used to come home early previously and all of a sudden he has started coming home late and when asked either you get no answer or an irrational answer or even worst he started getting irritated and becomes angry with you, then something is definitely wrong.
  • You notice a sudden increase or decrease in sexual interest of your spouse. An illicit affair is as likely to heighten as to lower his sexual interest in you. Does he want to try out new and unusual sexual positions?
  • He is more possessive toward his wallet, pocket calendar or briefcase.
  • He comes home more often with alcohol on his breath.
  • All of a sudden he starts talking about getting together with old friends he hasn't seen in years and about whom he has never spoken of to you.
  • He has started shopping for new clothes.
  • He has started taking a renewed interest in his looks and appearance.
  • He has started keeping an overnight bag in his car or office, apparently for a workout.
  • While eating out he orders dishes he had never liked and ordered before.
  • He has started working late and on holidays and weekends.
  • He expresses opinions on subjects he never used to take an interest in.
  • He encourages you to go alone to visit parents or friends.
  • He has bought for you gifts that show a new level of taste or insight about the opposite sex.
  • He makes a point of keeping the car free of paraphernalia belonging to you or the kids.
  • He has started attending extended seminars or going on tours he never used to attend and go before.
  • He has started using new words and phrases.
  • At odd hours he remembers things he had forgotten to do at the office and wants to leave immediately.
  • He often forgets to wear the wedding ring.
  • He has started to take the dog out for walks or takes the dog for much longer walks than he used to.
  • He makes more phone calls late at night.
  • He has suddenly taken up new hobbies or joined some classes or has friends that take him out of the house in the evenings and weekends.
  • He talks about a movie that he has seen but you haven't when normally he never used to like watching movies or used to go out for movies only with you.
  • He insists on answering the phone and talks in coded mode if you are around or is uncomfortable by your presence.
  • He calls out a different name in his sleep or while making love to you. THOUGH VERY RARE.
  • You can smell perfume on him which you don't use or smell soap of a different brand and he seems totally fresh as if he has had a bath in the evening after coming home from office.

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